Looking Back
by ninjanervana
Summary: One-Shot. Ever wonder who Botan was before she became the grim reaper and how she got the job? Here's what i think happened


I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or its characters. This story is dedicated to Crystal Jaganshi who wanted to see a Botan-centric fic. Hope you all enjoy it. If you have any story suggestions or anything you'd like to see let me know in your review.

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Botan looked down at the flashing lights of the Tokyo skyline as she cruised through the sky on her oar, the pink sleeves of her kimono billowing in the spring breeze. Everything looked so beautiful from the sky, the people shrunken to little dots, the normally harsh bright lights of the buildings muted slightly to form a softer glow, the blaring sounds of honking cars forming a low hum in the background. It was a breathtaking view, one that she would have liked to share if only there was someone for her to share it with. She leaned forward on her oar, dipping down toward the city lights as she thought back to how she became a grim reaper.

Botan was born in 1892 to a small merchant family, the first of three children. They weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination, but she never went to bed hungry, she never went without proper clothing or a roof over her head. It was more than she could say about the children she had seen begging in the streets. Her heart ached for them, their bodies thinned by starvation, cold and shivering on chilly nights. She often snuck her own dinner into napkins and took it out to them late at night while her parents slept.

That was the type of person she was. She always cared about the people around her more than she cared about herself. She wanted to adopt all the stray dogs she saw in the street and give them a warm home to stay in, she wanted to give food and money to every beggar she saw in the street, she wanted to buy shoes for every little child she saw running barefoot through the cold streets. But she could only help so many people at her young age so she focused on those closest to her, her younger brothers, a pair of twins.

Her little brothers were her pride and joy; she loved them more than anything. She wanted to do everything with them; she wanted to help change their clothes, she wanted to comb their hair, she wanted to feed them, she wanted to do everything with them. As she watched them grow up, their little footsteps filling the house with noise she knew she wanted to have kids one day more than anything. She wanted to get married to someone she loved, wanted hear the sounds of her own children's laughter as they ran through the house, wanted to hold her own kids in her arms and see some of her own features looking back at her. She wanted to give her kids the world.

But she would never get the chance to. She caught pneumonia shortly after her sixteenth birthday. Her body was wracked with chills, breathing was incredibly difficult for her, her head swam as she attempted to stand up. Her parents tried to force her to stay in bed, hoping she would recover from an illness that took so many lives, but Botan wouldn't hear of it. There were still people who needed help, who would appreciate a scrap of food or a sunny smile from her. She fought against her illness, smiling when her younger brothers would look at her, their eyes filled with fear and worry, reassuring them she would be better in no time. After fighting against her illness for three weeks, she passed away peacefully one night.

When she was brought to spirit world, she met Koenma, the ruler of Spirit World.

"Botan, I would like to offer you a job," he had said.

Botan was confused as to how he managed to speak around his pacifier, but decided against inquiring about it. "A-a job sir?"

"Yes. I think your personality would be perfect to become the new grim reaper. Your sunny disposition and willingness to help others would make you the perfect candidate. There are so many souls who are afraid when they die, souls that need a kind word and a comforting touch as they struggle with the cards fate has dealt them. You would be perfect for the position," Koenma said.

"But how would I know what to do? How would I even bring them here?" she asked, wrinkling her brow.

"Don't worry, we'll teach you how to do it."

Botan stopped outside the second floor window of a small house, peering in the window. Botan had watched her two younger brothers grow up into fine young men, watched them get married, watched them have children. It warmed her heart to see that they still remembered her, that they told their children stories about her. She watched all her descendants in that way, the family she wouldn't get to know and that would never know her. Now she looked in on the second generation since her death, the children sleeping quietly in their nursery. She had fifteen direct descendants carrying on her family's line. A small brown haired girl and a slightly older boy slept in the silent bedroom; the only audible sound the soft breathing. These children were descended from the first-born twin, Ichiru. They both had her brother's widow peaked hairline, a comforting sight to Botan.

She wished she had some descendants of her own, some family that carried her blood, her looks, but it wasn't meant to be. But at least she wasn't alone now. She had a new family of sorts with Yusuke and the gang. New sisters with Keiko, Yukina and Shizuru, odd brothers in Yusuke and Kuwabara. Kurama and Hiei seemed more like cousins; although they were all supernatural beings, Kurama and Hiei were more distant than the others after a lifetime of depending on only themselves. Botan was fortunate in a way; she had two families: one bound by the blood that ran through their veins, the other bound by the ties of friendship and loyalty. She turned away from the window, flying off toward the crowded city; there was work that still needed to be done and always would be.

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Reviews please :] let me know what i should write next


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